Pokemon Review: Shelgon

Every Pokemon is interesting and worth talking about. I don’t play a ton of Pokemon, but I do enjoy the universe and I love learning more about the creatures in it. So, Here’s Another Pokemon! It’s Shelgon!

Shelgon Details

Type: Dragon

Average Height: 3’ 07”

Average Weight: 243.6 lbs.

First introduced in Generation III

Food…who needs it?! Wait just a moment, someone is whispering something into my ear…yes….oh…well I’ll be damned! Turns out we all need food. In fact, if we don’t eat we will die. Unless you happen to be Shelgon, a Pokemon that never eats or drinks (which I’m told is important too) and yet it remains alive and well, baffling scientists around the world.

According to information found on Bulbapedia, Shelgon never needs or wants to eat food. At first, I thought this meant that Shelgon had just evolved to never need to eat. However, this isn’t entirely true. Based on Pokedex entries it seems clear that Shelgon does get hungry. In Pokemon Shield, Shelgon’s entry states that it “ignores its hunger entirely” which seems to imply it should be eating. Shelgon, why aren’t you eating? We are all getting worried about you.

Unless this is all a giant conspiracy! You see, in a different Pokedex entry it states that Sheldon “hardly eats” which is not the same as never eating. Now, I know that Pokedex entries are, for lack of a better word, unreliable. But this is one of the oddest bits of Pokedex retconning I’ve seen. Who at the Pokemon Company decided this poor shell-boy should totally starve themselves instead of only slightly starving themselves?

Shelgon, you do you. Go eat some popcorn or something. I won’t tell anyone. You deserve a nice snack. We all do. These last few years have been terrible. Take care of yourself.

Random Facts

• My spellchecker on my computer keeps trying to turn Shelgon into Sheldon, so now I’m thinking about Sheldon from Big Bang Theory starving to death.
• Shelgon’s shell is extremely heavy, making it hard for it to move around at all and…wait…
• Its shell covers its entire mouth? That’s why it can’t eat properly. Someone, go get me a hammer. I got to help this poor thing.

Best Comment From Last Week

Christ. This sounds more like it belongs in the SCP wiki than a Pokédex.

-Bakamoichigei

Now, I want a TV show or book set in a secret facility filled with the worst and most dangerous Pokemon.