Sonic The Hedgehog Smut Floods Trump’s Twitter Clone GETTR

Nary a month after the dramatic implosion of former president (and current Twitter refugee) Donald Trump’s attempted blogging career, the septuagenarian authoritarian’s “team” of grifting enablers has launched its latest attempt at a social network for folks who are just too darn patriotic for mainstream social media…and also for all sorts of Sonic the Hedgehog porn.

The unpleasantly named GETTR—Hilary Clinton lives rent-free in that dude’s head—is essentially a Twitter clone. Its slogan, “the marketplace of ideas,” suggests that inexplicably fence-sitting centrists might find it appealing as well, and that’s particularly true if they’re into furry vore artwork and memes about Sonic the Hedgehog getting pregnant.

That keeps coming up, doesn’t it? It seems that GETTR’s early launch (it was originally promised for Independence Day) has attracted a variety of leftist riff-raff from Tiktok, weird Twitter and the like, and they’ve embraced the former president’s unsavory, make-believe birdsite wannabe as the perfect place to share degenerate hentai, furry porn, leftist Sonic memes, and stock photos of pudgy, aged men in their underwear.

QAnon genius Jordan Sather, who suggests drinking bleach to cure the ‘rona, noted that, “Shills are already hitting the #QAnon hashtag on GETTR hard. I won’t repost what I’m finding. Titties and bad words and stuff.”

“Stuff,” indeed. So far GETTR’s moderation safeguards haven’t stood a chance against the NSFW Communist mpreg onslaught, which has flooded venerable tags like #QAnon with the sorts of sexuality-threatening furotica that pass through MAGA uncles’ minds as they rant at Thanksgiving. It’s fair to say a fair few good, decent, upstanding conspiracy theorists and proto-fascists are rapidly being forced to come to terms with the existence of a large chunk of the shitposting internet, or at least acknowledge it outside of their secret bookmarks.

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Sega’s speedy meme king is particularly well represented, with tags like #sonicfeet, #sonicismygod, #soniclovescommunism, #sonicmylove, and #sonic_came_in_my_bussy (ask your father about that one) tracking the sometimes-pregnant blue blur’s presence across the nascent social network for shitheads. But despite GETTR’s professed dedication to #FREEZEPEACH, a peek into accidentally leaked source code reveals its operators can add or remove “trending” topics at will. To arms, blue bussy brigade—you’re being censored!

It’s also quite easy to impersonate well-known conservative figures on the service, as evidenced by an account for Supreme Court justice “Brett Kavanaugh” enthusiastically sharing fetish images of a massive Sonic treading on a hapless fursona. I’m split on whether Hercules actor Kevin Sorbo’s is real or not. That fellow is a bit touched.

The prominence of Sonic amid the GETTR shitposting ruckus will come as no surprise to dedicated internetologists. Since his 1991 debut, Sega’s hedgehog has found a special place in fans’ hearts even as he’s acted as a gateway for an unknowable number into the realms of furrydom. His fandom’s persisted through the series’ many ups and downs, and in more recent years he’s become a key player in absurdist Twitter and Tiktok memes that often bridge the gaps between the furry community, weird Twitter, overly online leftists, and places in between.

Unfortunately for GETTR and its would-be users, the torrent of furry, leftist filth shows no signs of stopping anytime soon, especially given the recent media attention. Maybe Mr. Trump, who actually hasn’t joined the fledgling service yet, will step in with his legendary negotiating skills to re-assert order and make GETTR great again. Great for something beside Sonic feet pics, I mean.